THE NEWS AT 11
Channel 1 had a special about yellow alert,
so I worried a lot, I didn’t want to get hurt.
Channel 2 said the flu was going around,
so I got a flu shot, but what was that sound?
Channel 3 said those flu shots are dangerous, too.
So I turned on channel 4 to find out what to do.
They said see a doctor so I can survive,
in the waiting room I waited and watched channel 5.
Channel 5 and a tranquilizer made me feel fine,
those soap opera problems are much worse than mine.
But at home channel 6 had a story about bills,
and how people drop dead from prescriptions and pills.
So I called back the doctor, as I watched channel 7,
a star was in rehab, believing it’s heaven.
So I went into rehab where I watched channel 8,
all about crime and murder and hate.
And when I got home I tuned in channel 9,
and watched blood and horror on some battle line.
I took a deep breath and screamed vehement,
but then I gave up and fainted as I watched channel 10.
When the paramedics woke me, the answer was clear,
I killed my TV and stopped living in fear.
by Lorie Boxer with slight changes by me.


