At least that’s what it would probably have sounded like in a comic strip… as some of you may already know, I just had my 4th motorbike accident in Thailand.

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The first one was in 2000, when I lost control of a 400cc dirt bike and fell down a mountain. The accident cost me almost all my back teeth and I only got myself to blame for that one. However, I was wearing complete protection gear like the Pro’s do in the Super Cross on TV, unfortunately a rock sticking out from the side of the mountain caught me right under the helmet on the chin and made me bite my teeth together, so hard that they crumbled to pieces.

My 2nd accident was also the only one that knocked my out. I was on my way home at night with my girlfriend on the back when I hit a huge pile of sand that was illegally put on the outside lane of the road. A friend of mine went to the crash site at night to see what happened to me and went back the next morning to take some evidence photos, as the police never even made it there. The people responsible for putting the sand pile there saw it as their responsibility to remove all traces of it before the next morning, so officially there was no reason for me to crash and it was deemed as my fault.

My 3rd accident was directly in front of the day market in Hua Hin around 9am with about 20 people witnessing the event. I got cut off and flipped the bike, landing quite hard on the street. After a few minutes the police was there and asked me to follow them to the police station, while blood was running down my right hand from a nasty cut, luckily that was the only injury I had. So, I refused to go to the police station and demanded to go to the hospital instead. Still in shock and a bit of a daze I picked up my bike got on it and started cruising towards the hospital about 3km down the road, thinking I would be followed by the police. After going there half way I realized I am all by myself, so I stopped by my house and picked up my wife, and later no one ever heard of the accident… no witnesses, no license plate number of the asshole who cut me off, so no case…

Well, now my latest and most likely last motorbike accident. It was 3:15pm and I needed to be in town by 3:30 to make it to the bank. I was going accordingly fast on a wide open straight road with no traffic but one pickup truck coming towards me. I floored the bike and hit the magical 155km/h – top speed of my beloved Honda CBR 150 Repsol Edition. The driver of the pickup truck must have realized he’d gone too for or something like that, so at a distance of about 50 meters to me he initiated a 3 point turning maneuver, putting his truck sideways on the road blocking my entire lane plus my emergency/motorbike lane. I hit the brakes for about a second, realizing I would slam into the truck going at least 70 km/h or so, and decided to try and go around behind him on his side of the road. The same moment I had  leaned the bike to the side to turn and was on my way to the other side of the road, the pickup truck initiated phase 2 of his 3 point turning maneuver  – reversing – right into my way. I tried to avoid hitting him, but still clipped his tail light with my hand/handle which made my bike tilt even more to the side. I tried to catch it and make a left turn to stay on the road, but then I saw a motorbike with a side wagon coming towards me on the emergency lane. At this point I was still going about 90km/h and I would have never made it without colliding with the other bike, so I left the bike in the tilted position and just went off the road. For a moment I thought I may actually make it then I saw a tree and knew I could not avoid hitting it, so I jerked the bike and myself  as hard as I could to the same side it was leaning anyways. The bike went into the tree, but because it was tilted so much, I flew passed the tree and hit the ground about 20 meter away from the tree. The impact with the ground was literally breathtaking, it hurt so much I got tunnel vision and thought I would pass out. After a minute or so of laying on my chest I tried to get up. My back was hurting like crazy and I screamed  out of the top of my lungs, which surprisingly hurt even more. so I just collapsed again in agony. I made it to lay down on my side so I could see the road, and started waiving with my arm at passing cars and bikes. I had eye contact with at least 3 people driving by, but no one stopped until about 10-15minutes later. The pickup truck ran away of course, and the guy on the motorbike with the side wagon didn’t come back until after others had stopped to assist me. He gave his name, phone number and license plate number of the apparently black Chevy pickup… a number which tuned out to belong to a white Volkswagen and not a pickup truck. Shortly after the first people stopped to help me, there were about 20 people around me. A brand new Toyota Vigo Police Car stopped on the side of the road and the officer talked to some people through the window of his car, then he drove off again! My guess is he was off duty, on his way to pickup a bribe, or going to see his geek – all all of those reasons. Later an emergency car arrived and after that 2 more ambulances, as no one dared to move me after seeing me and my back, something I wish I could have as well, as it really freaked me out.

So, what’s the outcome? I didn’t brake a single bone, had a few scratches of which only one was so bad that it deserved a regular band-aid. However, my back pain was really extreme and they “rushed” me into the x-ray room. 4.5 hours after I arrived at the emergency room they had finally completed to take 4 x-rays and the doc gave me the news. I compressed one of my bones in the spine by up to 50% and it is angled by 30 degrees where it should be “flat”. His “text books” (I’m serious, that’s what he said) say that I need an operation. The best guy in Thailand for a surgery gave it a 10% chance that I will end up paralyzed waist down – that’ 1 out of 10! I have no clue what I am going to do now. At the moment I am thinking to start exercising and just build up a lot of muscles to support my spine, the doc says there is a chance that it may do the trick – at least until I am 60+ at which point he says my muscles will get too weak. IF this is the way it’s gonna be, I just hope the odds have improved in 30 years. For now, I got to stay on my back for at least 5 more weeks to give the bone time to heal and harden again, 5 weeks in which I am going to research all I can about this and all the possible treatments etc.

Here is the x-ray of my spine, I took the liberty to highlight the healthy bones in green and the broken one in red, which should have the same size and shape as the green ones...

I just had a great time at Thaiwaii Bar & Restaurant on Soi 80 in Hua Hin.

The food is awesome and the company very nice.

Recommend the place to anyone who comes to Hua Hin or lives here

Yes, I have been to this little paradise again…

My parents (dad and step-mum) came down to celebrate my 30th birthday with me. They’d asked me to find them a place like Koh Tao used to be 20 years ago, so Koh Talu it was. To be able to spend some uninterrupted time together my wife and me spent 2 days with them on Koh Talu, and I must say I was really happy to have spend those days with them.

Unfortunately this time my visit has been less satisfactory than my first visit.

Here I got to make a cut and say something I have realized about Germans (as my parents and I are…) in general: German people are usually very polite when being abroad… but dare anything being “wrong” that should be “right”… man… Germans can talk about a dirty towel for weeks! At “home” we are even “worse”, for living in one of the most advanced nations in the world, we manage to sound like starving Africans quite a lot… A German comedian said it quite well a couple of years ago: “We are only satisfied when we’ve got something to complain about” and another quote from a german musician: ” I am thankful for having the luxury to complain”. I only bring this up because since I live in Thailand I have adapted pretty much to the “mai pen rai” attitude of the Thais, and there is hardly anything that can throw me off. It sometimes amused me how my parents could talk (complain) about things I hardly even notice for such a long time.

So, now I got to do my German “thang” and let “yall” know why I didn’t have such a great time on Koh Talu as I did the first time.

1. Unmotivated staff & non-existent customer care
If I would have to give stars for the staff: last time 4 stars, this time no star. Really, if the nice old guy wouldn’t still be there trying to keep the show running with the little resouces he has, it would have been a disaster. The last time we were there, the staff were VERY friendly and always trying to make “your” stay as nice as possible. I really felt welcome. This time is was almost the opposite. Apart from the old guy who really tries to take care of the customers, there was no one willing to deal with the guests. We have had a guy simply turning his back to us, when we were asking a question. Ok, I understand by now that this person can’t speak any English and simply didn’t want to loose his face, and therefor just ran off, but for someone like “my parents” this is simply RUDE! Then a little stab in the back was the “welcome” mats that were placed in front of the doors of Thais arriving, while those were nowhere to be found in front of the doorstep of foreign guests.

2. Food shortage
For an all inclusive deal it is unthinkable that someone would not have enough to eat. This is absolutely outrageous in my point of view. My parents spent 4 days and 3 nights on the island, my wife and me were only there during their 2nd night. They told us about the nice food you get but that there is not enough, and that the people would circle the buffet like vultures waiting for the food trays to be dropped. I thought they were over exaggerating, but it turned out to be true.

3. Dirty beach
For advertising a “eco tour” the beaches look like a waste dump. Trash all over the beach, and no one there to clean it.

4. Deadly activities
Last visit I took a little kayak trip with my wife. As I mentioned before it is FREE, so we went to the beach and the guy there gave us some life vests and paddles and prepped a kayak for us, it was great. Now this time… no staff at all on the beach, no life vests either, we graped a kayak and took of ourselves. My dad and me got about 100 meters away from the beach when the kayak started sinking, once we rescued this…titanic we found out there was a big crack in the bottom of it, it really was a titanic. A little later we saw a guy going out with 2 kids at the age of maybe 4-5 (all without life vests) on another kayak… I was just wondering how this would have ended if they would have chosen ours.

Well… there also was the waste dump which evidently produces swarms of flies on a regular basis, an amazing music selection of 5 CDs at the(only) beach bar, and what else… to put it all together I must say, this trip was not as nice I had imagined it to be. Still, I enjoyed Koh Talu, and if the trip would have cost half the price, I would not even consider to complain about anything. I was VERY happy to see my dad and my step-mum and to be on Koh Talu once again.

I hope the owner of Koh Talu gets to read this, then kicks his staff’s butt and hires some extra staff that speaks English!

And if he does read it, here’s an idea: how about a little “Spa & Massage” area? Would be nice, both for the visitors and the cash register

Hello everyone!

I just returned from Koh Talu, where my wife and me spend a beautiful weekend together with a friend who is currently visiting us from Germany.

Koh Talu is simply amazing, it has three beautiful white sand beaches, of which only two are developed with Thai style bungalows and resort facilities, the third beach is totally untouched and can only be reached by boat. If you are in Thailand, or better said around Hua Hin, then I suggest you visit Koh Talu, I am sure you will like it!

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